Warner Brothers' Woes

Bye bye Taz


Notice the tumors?


It's not just my portfolio that is in desperate trouble this year. While not victimized by Madoff, I still would like to keep what I have...or what my parents left me. Celebrities are in dire staits (not the band) as well. The governor of New Mexico (Richardson) has asked out of the Obama cabinet as a result, I suspect, of being investigated by a grand jury for providing illegal contracts to contributors to his campaign. Manny Ramirez still doesn't have a contract, and Barry Bonds remains persona non grata. Peyton Manning is out of the national spotlight except for some commercials which are probably already made for Super Bowl week, just in case...oops! But faces are also extremely long at Warner Brothers these days, what with the cancer scare and all.
It would seem that the Tasmanian devil is succumbing at a rapid rate to cancerous tumors. Fully two-thirds of the world's population has already been decimated by this disease, and even animals that have been quarantined in hopes of surviving have shown tumorous symptoms. Scientists have debated building a fence to separate healthy Australian mammals from diseased ones in hopes of saving the rest of the world's largest carnivorous, four-legged mammal. Oh, you've still got your bandicoots, quolls, antechinus's, wombats and platypuses(platypi?), and there are a number of Tasmanian tigers running loose, but Warner Brothers has not adapted any of them to the cartoon lore like it has Taz. The extinction of the devil will cause a major headache for the studio. What, after all, are the options?
Bring back Casper, the friendly ghost?
Revitalize Mighty Mouse?
Popularize spinach again featuring Popeye? (what was WITH his eye, anyway?)
These are all basically "good" characters, while Taz was just enough of a bad boy to level the playing field.
Spnge Bob Square Pants? Seriously? we need a "Brat Pack" character again before the Tasmanian devil is completely wiped out.
I'm open to suggestion, as I'm sure the folks at Warner Brothers are.
I'm sure Madoff would welcome extinction about this time.