Eating Good in My Neighborhood: 2075

I'll admit that going back to school was an interesting experience though the environment class I took with one of my students this semester left me a bit uncertain about the future of the world...though most everything will run out shortly after I'm dead so it won't REALLY matter all that much. One of the books we read was entitled The Long Emergency and it's basic premise was gloomy, to say the least. Without lapsing into tedium, it will suffice to say that all the resources will be depleted, and the global economy will retract to become a local one worldwide...those that don't have the capacity for growing food, say, in a desert or without irrigation, will die. Terrible stuff. However, there are those among us who are prepping for that eventuality; you'll recall my previous blog about folks raising chickens in cities as a substitute for other protein sources.
Here's where my class comes into play. The professor, who shall remain nameless until his/her book on the subject comes out, has begun devising what amounts to a cookbook for survival. Since it IS a professor at UW-Green Bay, let's call him/her "Professor Phoenix" (a pseudonym much like Deep Troat from the Nixon era who just died today or Dick Cheney, a pseudonym for a vice-president)
Realizing that the monoculture of huge grain fields and endless, methane-spewing cattle herds simply cannot exist in the future due to the lack of fossil fuels and a dearth of irrigation water, "Professor Phoenix" proposes the following items for everyone's table in the future:

Bird's Nest Soup as an appetizer. After all, while we still have birds, let's make use of their natural nesting nature. This is what's known as a "renewable resource" since birds will just build another one: labor intensive for them, easy for us; kind of like growing radishes.

Egg Drop Soup as an alternative. Remember the soup kitchens of the First Great Depression? Get ready for this staple at the Salvation Army's kitchen. The only real problem will be picking up the gooey stuff once we drop the eggs.

There's always chicken feet soup. (don't ask ME why she's so big on soups!) Figure it like this: we'll need chickens, but we don't want them conveniently "running away" to our neighbor's coop, so, instead of using all that wood for coops and wire for fences, we just chop off their feet, and ...soup's on! We can always take them to a farmer's market and label the eggs as coming from "free range" chickens.(That part was my idea)

I think he/she watches Rachel Ray too much, however, as the next few items might attest:

Toad a la Mode. Really, I'm not making this up! While I've eaten frogs' legs, it's never been in combination with ice cream. This one might take some getting used to. And the beer manufactureres will have something to say about it as well because since grains have become scarce with little irrigation, they'll need a substitute for hops, and I figure...well, you get it.

Chipped Gerbil on Toast, a.k.a. "rodent on a shingle" With enough creamed gravy, I think this could be a big hit. You know there would be no fat since those little guys just run on their little wheels all night. Of course, it would take a lot of them so the PetsMart would become the new SuperValu in the future. PETA would come to stand for "People Eating Tasty Animals."

Mice are Nice. Uh...I suppose, but I would want to make sure it didn't come from a university lab prior to being an entree. and, finally,

Ratatouille. I don't even want to know, but it sounds like more soup.

Roach Brioche is the final entry...for now. Professor "Phoenix" doesn't seem to want to divulge too much just yet...because we wouldn't need to buy the cookbook then. Fair enough.

Honestly, these actually came from a mostly-clear-thinking professor as emergency rations for the future. AS a pet owner, he/she probably didn't think of dishes like "Catcakes" or "Polly Is a Cracker," but the rabbits that have populated my neighborhgood lately are definitely not safe: "Bunny-on-a-Bun" will be the taste treat of the 21st century.
Me? I'm going to stick with hot dogs.