Saving Lives In Unusual Fashion

Unfortunately, people die all the time, and I would imagine not many of them are really ready to go. For myself, every day I'm not looking up at dirt is the best day of my life, though I didn't always think of it that way. Getting older has a way of adjusting one's point of view. Anyway, the ingenuity of the American spirit is on display as we look at various ways to permit those of us who so desire to live a longer life.

In California, courtesy of the Governator, a proposal is on the table to raise needed budget money by adding a 5-cent (as opposed to 50-Cent) surcharge on every alcoholic drink served in that state. His idea was merely to raise money, I suspect, but, according to a study of the state of Alaska by the American Journal of Public Health, taxing alcohol has a significant effect on the death rate. A tax hike in that state in 1983 produced a drop of 29% in alcohol-related deaths by the next year. A subsequent atx hike in 2002 resulted in deaths falling by 11%. Not bad! (BTW, are we doomed to talk incessantly about Alaska from this point forward? I doubt I'd even THOUGHT about Alaska much prior to "She-whose-name-must-not-be-mentioned" and now it's everywhere!) In fact, taxing alcohol was a MUCH better determiner of a longer life than school education programs and media campaigns. Since 85 thousand people per year die in this country as a result of alcohol, it's a worthy endeavor.
Of course, I have my own take on ways to save lives by ratcheting the cost of things not pertaining to tailgating at Lambeau Field.

I think a cell phone usage tax might be in order next. Phones with special chips installed which indicate when the user is moving faster than walking speed would automatically add a ten-cent charge every 30 seconds to that call. With GPS tracking systems, how hard could it be to accomplish this? Face it, not many people get killed as a result of cell phone use by someone at 4 m.p.h. (If you go out and patent this, I get dibs on part of it for suggesting the idea) And speaking of cars...

I think Denmark might be onto something as well in the auto regard. A car that has a sticker price of $25,000 in that country will cost the buyer $50,000 when taxes are added. I am not kidding! Of course, in Denmark, they are concerned with pollution and oil depletion (Ha! what do they know?) but all the same, I'll bet the death rate goes down. Of course, the meter maid union will soon be looking to ticket bicyclists or performing some anachronistic function like the guy in the caboose on American trains.

I think all sports contests should end in a tie...you know, play for fun. There is significant evidence that spousal abuse rises incrementally following major sporting event losses such as professional sports or DePere Legion contests in South Dakota and Little League baseball games in Sturgeon Bay...oh wait, that was the umpire who got smacked. In fact, I read somewhere that the reason for such long post-game shows following things like sporting events was that the losers would have a chance to cool off before doing something stupid. (is torching cars and looting after a national championship stupid? your call). For those who still want a winner, a significant tax on all the players and coaches who participate in a game that ends in something other than a tie would definitely have an effect on the outcome. Aficianados might say,"Well, what would be the fun of watching then?" Exactly! We might then all get out and go for a walk or get exercise bowling or playing tennis, golf or any Olympic game of speed and/or strength on our Wii (all games ending in a tie, of course, so my 8-yr-old neighbor won't be talking smack when he beats me).

Don't want to save lives? Don't say I didn't warn you when your number comes up!