Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Gunston a Goner?



We all know sports is big business. Heck, I just spent two hours carving a figure of Brett Favre throwing a football in a snow pile I made yesterday. There's big money to be had on all fronts (with the exception of snow sculptures), and team mascots are not an exception. Remember when Indian nicknames and mascots were on everyone's radar? Boosters at Marquette even offered a million dollars to the trustees to drop the "Golden Eagles" moniker and return to "Warriors." Well, now it appears a mascot has come under fire for being TOO CUTE AND NOT FEARSOME ENOUGH. You've probably seen him...two years a go when George Mason University played deep into March Madness, its mascot Gunston was obvious. If you haven't, I guess I'd have to say sort of a Cookie Monster look...popular with the kids and with students, but not so much with the boosters who, according to my friend Karl, "BOO the coach and STIR up trouble."
There is precendent for mascot changes, certainly. Georgia Tech went to "Yellowjackets" from "Rambling Wreck" (which I liked). Wichita State has dropped its Shocker mascot because large strands of wheat tied together (in a "shock") had very little mobility. Scottsdale Community College preferred Arti the Artichoke over a rutabaga. Many schools have been coerced into dropping mascots associated with the antebellum South in addition to native American mascots. LSU catches heat all the time for keeping a live tiger in captivity, but as far as I know, there's no controversy over UC-Santa Clara's mascot: the banana slug. In fact, it's quite popular on the Tshirt circuit. I'm still waiting for Ralphie at the University of Colorado to get into some loco weed and gore somebody...or how about that longhorn at Texas? I wouldn't want to lead him around.
There are some I'd think might need changing, though.
The Goucher Gophers. Ostensibly, there was a football cheer in which the students shouted, "Go for it, Goucher" which led to the adoption of the animal mascot.
The Wofford Terriers, so named because during one contest, a dog actually ran onto the court. Now a name like the Jack Russell Terriers would inspire frenetic activity in ANY booster or player.
George Washington University's mascot is, well, George Washington. I can see rivals clacking wooden teeth during free throws or throwing fake silver dollars onto the field of play.
The Loyola University Ramblers. This one is odd on many fronts because Loyola is THE academic school in Chicago, I'm told. Does the name represent the now-defunct car brand? Do their students or professors (OK trick question here)talk on and on without making any real point? My buddy Jeff pointed out that their athletic logo featured a dog. huh?
My least favorite, though, is Brutus Buckeye from The Ohio State University. I mean, who's going to tremble at the sight of a seed from a tree? It'll take 30 years for it to grow into anything sizable, and that mascot is just ASKING for people to throw things at its noggin. It's sort of a reverse Weeble.
I hope the students get to keep Gunston...they should have SOMETHING to show for their tuition.

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