Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

China Olympics? I'll Pass

Soon to be a dominating force in the world economy, China goes on public display in 2008 when the Summer Olympics arrive amid great fanfare. I've always wanted to see the spectacle, but I'm going to pass on this one. I've already reported about the somewhat hilarious effort to Anglicize the signage in Beijing...with head-scratching results. Then came the bathroom bizarro:
A new word record has been apparently set in China for having the most outdoor bathroom facilities in one place. A recent photo showed endless, rather discrete stall-like enclosures in all directions. I have no idea whether there was any distinction between male and female conveniences, but I know in Thailand there was a decided difference! Grabbing to rails embedded in the wall while trying to "connect" with an open hole in the floor is not my idea of convenient...and that was the women's side! This Chinese loo goes a step further in the men's section. Urinals are placed conveniently, but they have many different shapes...no, not tall, short or wide. These are shapes like an open-mouthed crocodile or the torso of a woman holding a bucket-like object (all cast in porcelin, I think). Now, imagine this scenario: you're a male who really needs relief so you step into the nearest stall and face an open-jawed crocodile that seems to invite you closer. Hey! I'm not getting near something like that...can I prove it's not alive? And facing a statuary woman? No way could I "go." What were they thinking? They certainly didn't develop that for me! However, the food thing must be the worst!
It seems that in Beijing, and in all of China for all I know, the street vendors' treat is a dumpling-like delectable called a "baozi." The concoction has an outer skin of wheat or rice flour and is filled with sliced pork...OK, I ate something like that in Chicago a while back, and it was good. It actually resembles those dumplings one gets in a dim sum restaurant, just bigger. It's steamed in a bamboo cooker and takes only a couple of bites to get down. In Beijing, it's done a bit differently, using a "6-to-4" ratio. That means that unscrupulous street vendors are making these by grinding up cardboard and mixing it with fatty pork "product" in a proportion of 60% cardboard and 40% pork "stuff." An ivestigative team uncovered just such an operation recently. The cardboard is softened in an industrial chemnical used to make paper and/or soap, mixed with unnamed fatty pork deposits and seasoned before steaming. This particular operation was shut down by the police eventually, but do I believe it was the only one? Nah. In spite of the great amount of fiber one must be getting, I'll pass and wait for the Olympics to come to Wisconsin so we can have the State Fair cream puffs!

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