Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Is Your Child Worthy of Einstein?

It's not too early to start thinking about holiday shopping...not Valentine's Day: it is too late for that. I mean, Christmas shopping, the only real holiday for shoppers. If you have a special 3yr.-old longing for the gift that will set him or her apart from the rest of the trendy, pre-preschool crowd, it's here now. Actually, the trend started last holdiay season, but if you are anything like me, you missed all the excitement. Now you can get in on the ground floor this year.
There's no time like now to get that toddler wired for the future. Of course, you're not going to start pumping cappaccino into the kid...that's for junior high. I mean REALLY wired as in technologically wired.
For the rocking chair set, there's the Baby Einstein: a rocking chair with an MP3 adapter and speakers. Just right for repeating the periodic table over and over (no more simple things like placemats of the periodic table...nerds!)or listening to classical music (Jailhouse Rock for example). It's never too early to start educating...Harvard doesn't just take ANY genius.
For the 3 and up set, there is a veritable plethora of possibilities. Fisher-Price who gave us Elmo, etc. now has a digital music player AND a digital camera designed for tekkies 3 and up. Both are designed to take four-foot drops and drool with aplomb.
Emerson has produced a Sponge Bob Square Pants Speaker system for an MP3 player as well as the requisite digital camera. Send your toddler off to daycare with this stuff, and he or she will be organizing a weblog, printing newsletters and selling all your stuff on EBay in no time.
Of course, there is a small downside to all this technology for tots. Who's going to download the tunes for the MP3 players? Will lawyers take cases brought by the music industry for stealing a copy of Old MacDonald Had A Farm from Morpheus? Will parents allow boogers on their keyboard as kids try to download their own stuff? Who will control photo-taking at home? If I'm walking around on Sunday morning in my boxers and ripped T-shirt, I don't want a little kid running around with a camera in hopes of a photo-op. Believe me, there's something going on here. I think it's a plot for the electronics industry to play Really Cool Big Brother and control our children as a preview to taking over the world.
Bill Gates, Galactic Emperor? It could happen! As for me, I'm getting a lock box for any electronic device I own.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home