Great Employment Perks, But...

It's not too early for you soon-to-be-graduated college people to begin looking for a job. After all, my social security is in your hands...so get out there and start looking. Before you give up and take a waiter/waitress job, think about Al-Qaeda and what it can offer. (For the Homeland Security folks, this is NOT to be taken seriously...it's tongue-in-cheek writing and, hopefully, not me-in-Gitmo writing. (perhaps I should just stop now...nah)
Anyway, according to documents seized just after 9-11 from an AQ operative in this country (as noted on CNN), there is a standard Al-Qaeda contract for employment. The perks are not bad, if I do say so myself. Since I am a teacher, you might be tempted to say I know all about such things.
Anyway, married members get seven vacation days every three weeks, and bachelors get five vacation days a month. Whoa! That's a LOT of free time. There is no word whether or not this included weekends. If not, this is not such a good deal. Bachelors get nearly nine weeks of vacation a year! No mention of whether that's paid vacation or not, however. I suspect not being assigned a suicide mission might be payment enough every so often.
Contracted members get 15 sick days a year. Heck, there are only twelve Mondays in a year! Even I don't get fifteen sick days a year. I must admit,though,that I suspect they are a lot more anxious to take them than I am.
Pay could be better. A married member gets the equivalent of $108.00 a month in Pakistani rupees (no, THAT doesn't make me think they're hiding Osama in Pakistan!) An unmarried fighter gets the equivalent of $17.00 a month, but what's to spend it on? If a person is lucky enough to have more than one wife, he gets an extra 700 rupees a month for each wife. I'm not familiar with the monetary system, but it does not sound like much to me...I mean, she could spend that much on new abayas every month. It seems that this could get expensive, and I'd have enough trouble keeping the sand out of my shorts and keeping all the ladies in burqas.
While the perks seem ok, it's probably not a job I'm going to sign up for soon. My nose gets sunburned too easily as it is.
College grads...that waiter/waitress job sounds rather tempting as well.

NOTE TO THE CIA:
PLEASE DO NOT WIRETAP MY PHONE! I AM NOT NOW NOR NEVER HAVE I BEEN AN AGENT OF ANY FOREIGN INSURGENCY OR INTELLIGENCE OPERATION.

Of course, if you want to listen to conversations of me talking to students' parents about why their children are or are not doing well in school, it's YOUR time and effort.