Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

...And Then I Knew!

Definitely Not From Taco Bell

I like to think I'm something of an adventurous type; usually, I'm up for most suggestions that people make when it comes to trying something out of the ordinary. In addition, unlike SOME people, I'm not too fussy about food, despite the fact that eating is one of my favorite sensual pleasures (like really cold milk or the smell of dew on the first morning of spring).
When it comes to gustatory delight, I was formerly of the "quantity without a high degree of quality" people. Shakey's Pizza, Golden Corral, China Buffett: you name it, I ate there. Not so much any more. I just can't seem to eat as much before getting uncomfortable...but that's OK...I'm still more of a comfort food person than a person who needs nine utensils to eat a serving that doesn't even fill the plate. But, I'm game for almost long as it's not what I would call a "Girl Restaurant."
Before defining what that is, let me describe what it is NOT:
1. A non-Girl Restaurant probably has paper napkins, or at least cloth napkins that are not folded into some kind of bird.
2.A non-Girl Restaurant has enough room so that I don't overhear every conversation.
3.A non-Girl Restaurant features a menu that I can understand without asking nearby diners what they're having that looks so good.
4.A non-Girl Restaurant will have at least one dish that is mostly beef. Salads are OK, but beef is a viable choice.
5.A non-Girl Restaurant has desserts like pie...maybe with ice cream on top.
6.A non-Girl Restaurant has a drink menu that has at least one beer as well as the wine choices.

So, there you have it...the kind of restaurant I would not generally frequent though I can admit to a feminine side and make the occasional foray into the girl world of dining. So it was recently.
Billed as an excuse to get the ragtop out and drive a ways to this much-ballyhooed little place that featured singing waitresses and an upscale ( I should have guessed) menu, I was all in for the road trip to food. The GPS guided us (generally) in the right direction, though it took old-fashioned Boy Scout skills to complete the mission. Meeting friends for lunch meant that I had to keep any complaints to myself, and I think I did an acceptable job of it, for this place in King, Wisconsin, definitely was a "Girl Restaurant." The signs continued to multiply until I KNEW...too late.
1. The building was cottage-like, painted in whites, pinks and turquoises with flower gardens all around.
2. "Intimate" hardly describes the seating arrangements: I was close enough to share entrees with those around me, and SOMEONE continually asked other diners what it was that looked so good on their plates.
3. The menu was limited (not a big deal) since everything was made right there using herbs and veggies from a garden out back (definitely girl stuff!); but there was absolutely nothing on the menu featuring beef...lots of salad choices, but chicken was the only thing that had been recently running through the great outdoors.
4. The drink menu consisted of various liquids containing fruits, carrots and/or hibiscus; white wine might have been an option, but it was the hibiscus for me!
5. The desserts were varied (and tasty), but when something comes with a sauce containing strawberries and merlot, it made me a bit suspicious; the fact that it was decorated (see photo) with those ersatz-squiggly lines of sauce literally screamed "NOT TACO BELL!"
I grudgingly accepted all of those things in a spirit of "let's do something different," but when it came to using the bathroom, I had to simply shake my head, knowing I was trapped in a female world. All in all,I guess the room was ordinary; mind you, there was only one WC for the customers, so it wasn't like I had wandered into the wrong one. As I prepared to,uh, relieve myself, I noticed a fan blowing in the room. It was situated right next to the toilet and blowing directly across the toilet seat area...a cooling breeze about chest high for a woman, but waist high for me. To put this as delicately as I can...aiming with a side wind is tricky at best and messy at worst...but by then, I had committed myself and could only try my best...
knowing that it was probably not meant for me...
this "Girl Restaurant."


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