Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Turning 20 Minutes Into 30 Minutes

Not in India, You Don't!

The average situation comedy in this country, scheduled in the TV listings for 30 minutes, actually runs about 20 most of the time. The rest, of course, is taken up with advertisements that, supposedly, pay the freight so we can watch programming for free. When Charlie Sheen gets millions for one episode, you can imagine how many commercials an advertiser has to run (and pay for). Oh, did you think your cable bill paid for that? Think again. And unless you watch programming on the internet where commercials are usually minimal or easily skipped, a person can get carpal tunnel manipulating the remote to avoid being bombarded by advertisements. I have found that, generally, stations tend to offer commercial messages at about the same time (just to frustrate ME, no doubt). It's time for me to move to India, if for no other reason than to watch television.
Recently, the Indian government has issued a decree that deodorant commercials that are deemed objectionable should be removed. Deodorant commercials? Really? It seems so. Claimed to be "overtly sexual," some commercials' sponsors have five days to redo or remove said commercials on the premise that they subtly send a message that "arouse women's sexuality." What? Really? Supposedly, one commercial features a woman who begins to undress as the scent of the deodorant a man is applying wafts her way. Really.
As any man can tell you, there is NO scent in the world that will get this response. I'd have heard about it by this time. It would be all over the internet. There would be a mad rush at Wal-Mart to get our hands on such a product. Surely, Indian males are at least as savvy as I am and would never be fooled by such a ploy.
But then, I got to thinking: what if American television were to limit commercials to those that did NOT try to elicit sexual arousal? What would we have?
Not one car commercial featuring an alluring woman on the hood.
Not one jeans commercial featuring a butt shot or a woman giving that "come hither" look.
Not one Cialis/Viagra commercial.
Definitely no Victoria's Secret commercials.
Come to think of it, ll of these commercials are supposed to tantalize MEN into buying a product.
If advertisers wanted to get women to get all tingly, they'd feature freshly-shaven-and-showered guys wearing argyle sweaters and loafers...ironing clothes.
At least, that's what works for me.
And in case you are curious, the deodorants that are supposed to melt women? Wild Stone, Addiction Deo, and AXE.
In India, anyway.


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