Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Being Angry Can Be A Good Thing

I never really cared that much about Elvis Presley...maybe he was just a bit before my time so all I remember is the Vegas version. It never piqued my curiosity when news of his death surfaced ('way before the internet age) and hinted that he might have died from a variety of causes, including a stroke suffered while attempting to, uh, "drop friends off at the pool," as it were. Thus, it does not sadden me especially to find out that the name "Elvis" has dropped out of the top ten lists of names for newborns. However, the news out of the Netherlands recently about triggers for burst aneurysms definitely caught my eye...and reminded me of Elvis (just so you know there's a connection coming!)
Dr. Monique Vlak, a neurologist in the Netherlands, has studied brain aneurysms to find out what can trigger the blood vessel to burst. Keep in mind that the blood vessel needs to be weak initially, and that keeps folks prone to high blood pressure (for a variety of reasons) on the hook here. Her research dealt only with aneurysms in the brain which disappointed me since mine was in the abdomen some years back.
As you might imagine, any sudden spike in blood pressure could trigger an already-weakened vessel to blow and create the very real possibility of death or significant disability. So, it is the spirit of public service that I report to you the eight most significant triggers of bursting blood vessels in one's head as discovered by Vlak's research. I will list them in reverse order, from least likely to most likely so there's no sudden spike in your blood pressure as you begin reading...we'll ease into it.

#8 Being angry was found to trigger brain aneurysms 1.3% of the time aneurysms were noted.
#7 Being startled was listed as the cause 2.7% of the time (so stop sneaking up on people!)
#6. Drinking cola beverages had a 3.5% chance of causing a blood vessel to rupture. (Getting nervous? It gets more frightening)
#5 The aforementioned straining to defecate was responsible in 3.6% of the test cases...bringing some credibility to the Elvis rumor (see? I told you there was a connection)
#4 Having sex triggered an aneurysm to blow 4.3% of the time...just one more reason, I guess.
#3 Nose blowing triggered aneurysms in the brain 5.4% of the time. EEK!
#2 Vigorous exercise accounted for problems 7.9% of the time (I will never even break a sweat again...but also a convenient alibi for failing to exercise)
AND. the trigger found most often (10.6% of the me, you really don't want to know...

drinking coffee.

Poor Juan Valdez.


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