Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Better Than Bacon?

Why Didn't I Think of This?

It's that time of year again: the snow lingers in the yard; March comes in like, well, whatever, and remains crappy until June; spring break dreams of beachfront living are just dreams; and the Easter season is upon us. That means the annual rite of purging our bodies and minds of sinful desires and erstwhile habits. It's time to purify our minds and bodies by giving something up for the 40-plus days or so of the Lenten season.
It was always an excruciating time for me when I was a kid, mostly because I didn't get to decide what to do sacrificially. Mom would say, "OK, we're giving up ice cream and candy for Lent," or something equally devastating. I mean, why not give up Brussels sprouts or walking five miles to school (uphill both ways) or having to wear that itchy wool suit to church every week? Those were sacrifices I could cheerfully have made; Mom pointed out, however, that the reason it was called "sacrifice" was that the act had to be something painful. Painful I knew! I figured since I had to share a bedroom AND a bed with my brother that I'd been purified beyond belief already. Sadly, Mom and the church didn't see things that way (actually, I think my brother had already called "dibs" on that form of sacrificial offering).
Now that I've grown old enough to make my own decisions concerning sacrifice, I think I might give a little thought to J. Wilson's latest idea for Lenten offering, even though it has a food angle which might initially make me recoil in horror (no Brussels sprouts mentioned)
Wilson, the editor of the Adams, Iowa, County Free Press newspaper and beer blogger has decided that this year he is going to emulate the holy monks of Germany of some 300 years ago and go without eating the entire Lenten season. Seriously. Imagine not eating from Ash Wednesday until Easter Sunday. I mean someone I know gave up drinking Starbucks' Frappaccino for the entire Lenten observance once, but really, food deprivation? I would find that hard to swallow (sorry).
Anyway, Wilson is relying on the stories of the old monks who subsisted on something called "liquid bread" for those fasting days of Lent. That liquid is actually a doppelbock beer containing 300 calories that was originally brewed by the monks. So, that's Wilson's plan during Lent:
he has prepared for the task by bulking up since Thanksgiving from his normal 140 pounds to 160 in order to stave off some of the potential caloric effects. Wilson will imbibe four 12-ounce Illuminator Doppelbocks per day (brewed by an Iowa firm), each of which will contain 6.7% alcohol.
I must say I'm curious. I will definitely keep checking out this story as it unfolds. I'll have a whole year to decide if it's worth the effort, since Lent has already begun for this year. Still...
But really, no bacon for 40 days? I'll take a hair shirt and self-flagellation anytime.


At 2:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the bright side, if you are giving up food for lent, at least you get the alcohol. I should of thought of that. I gave up alcohol.


Post a Comment

<< Home