Count Backwards From 100

Many people approach anesthesia with trepidation. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown; maybe they fear not waking up...hey, it's happened! Me? I think it's OK. But, for every transcendental minute spent in LaLa Land, there's a price to pay.
After having undergone the procedure almost a dozen times (most recently today), I have to say it's mostly fun...until one awakes and moves whatever body part has been newly-incised. Then comes the painful reminder that there will be pain as the price of the joyous unconscious feeling.
There is a way around this painful realization, though: it's called a colonoscopy. There is absolutely no pain upon awakening, and there is no memory of four feet of tube with a camera attached snaking its way up my colon...and that's probably a good thing. That's not to say, however, that the procedure feared by many in their mid-50's is without anxious moments. Drinking a gallon of salty water (even flavored with Crystal Light) ranks right up there with cod liver oil as an experience we'd all rather avoid. But at doesn't hurt, at least.
Then, there is the incessant bowel movements for the next three hours as the colon gets prepped for the "Invasion of the Polyp Snatchers." That doesn't hurt, either, but certainly parts of my anatomy got a little chapped in the process. (need a reminder? Think of a sore nose when you've blown it a hundred times with tissue NOT made with lotion...then apply it to the nether regions). Not a pleasant process.
But the procedure itself? A piece of cake. Totally without pain, and after the first time, free of anxiety as well. In fact, my nurse had to ask me if it was normal for my pulse to be less than 50 in the morning. Total relaxation...and my blood pressure was great as well. No Worries.
I'm due back in five years...not that I look forward to it. I've still got to get past the dentist on Wednesday.
Now THERE'S some anxiety, high blood pressure, and pain.
And they don't even use gas anymore.
Sigh.