It"s Not You...

Like most people, I have a highly-specialized body of knowledge. I know a lot about a few things like using subordination to join two sentences together for a smoother-flowing essay and rock and roll history, but I will be the first (or fifth, if you count the rest of my immediate family) to admit I know very little about fashion. I think horizontal stripes make one look fat and vertical stripes make on look tall, but I'm not really even sure about that since I usually wear solid colors except when I have my Yankees jacket or jersey on. Thus, if I were to offer suggestions about how one might look slimmer, you'd be tempted to move to another blog. Fortunately, there's Charla Krupp.
Ms Krupp is the author of a very revealing (in more ways than one) book entitled IHow To Never Look Fat Again, and she dishes about everything from fabrics to where to part your hair, even including a chapter entitled Don't You Dare! She also introduces some vocabulary which puzzled me, like "cankles." I get the general direction but not the meaning. I'd hate to have them and not know it, but I suspect that, like so many other maladies, they are a "woman thing."
Needless to say, this tome might not be for the faint of heart since Ms Krupp writes things that even your best friend might not tell you. Her mantra? "It's not you, it's your clothes." Krupp indicates that there are four things to consider when choosing the appropriate attire: fabric, fit, styles and colors.In addition, she divides clothes choices into two categories: high fat and low fat.
Curious? OK, here's the basic idea.
HIGH-FAT CLOTHES: anything that is shiny, metallic and/or has sequins that is either too loose or too tight and is displayed in bright, neon colors over the body. Admit it, you've seen people dressed like this, haven't you?
LOW-FAST CLOTHES: probably what you'd imaging--darker hues of silk, cotton or wool gabardine.
I would imagine this book is a best-seller, but if you are willing to wait several weeks, you can probably pick it up at the public library.
Covered in brown paper with no distinguishing words.
As for parting your hair, that information is secreted in the text somewhere.