SPF How Much? Where?

Leave it to those wacky Brits: while the rest of the world is trying to find the cure for the H1N1 virus, settle things between Israelis and Palestinians and/or discover whether AT&T really DID have an undue influence over the latest voting controversy on "Americal Idol," British scientists have been perfecting swimsuits and underwear that AVOIDS TAN LINES! This occurs as a result of a new fabric which lets in 80% of the sun's rays. In fact, once can see through this "chicken wire synthetic material" which has thousands of microscopic holes when it's held up to the light. However, when the garments are worn, the animal prints and abstract patterns confuse the eyes and retain a semblance of dignity for the wearer (presuming dignity is desired).
To date, the basic two-pieve swimsuit, the "Tan Through Kiniki" has been flying off the shelves in addition to the other products from the Kiniki Company: all-in-one swim suits,wraps, men's briefs (!) tangas and hipsters. To be honest, I had to research some to find out what a "tanga" was, and I quickly had to get to another site before my sweetie demanded an explanation! The same could be said for "hipsters" which I thought were just aging, cool people who authored blogs. Not so...not EVEN close!(and yet another swift website departure!)
Anyway, as you might imagine, the fabric has caused some raised eyebrows, especially among the skin cancer watchdog groups. While it may seem like an afterthought, wearers of the Tan Through are encouraged to coat everything with sun screen just as if it (or they in some cases) were fully exposed to the sun. In fact, John Walker, the owner of the company which produces these suits has added a disclaimer that all wearers should "put on a sensible layer of sunblock" when wearing his apparel. Not easily done when one is already lying on the beach towel! "Here, let me help you with that, honey!" SMACK!!!
And how many guys would be outside in broad daylight ...in their briefs? Boxers, sure, but briefs? Then try to explain that you were just lathering on sunscreen. Uh, no...there's not a vice cop on earth that would believe that one. Best to stay with the board shorts.
And learn "powertexting" with those crafty folks at AT&T.