Phun in Philly

I loved the South Park episode in which the AARP and the seniors of South Park were staging a takeover to get back their rights...mostly their driver's licenses. Our intrepid 4th graders stopped them by denying them their morning gathering at the local buffet restaurant. I had to laugh out loud. We've all seen the seniors gathering at McDonald's and other places for the morning socializing before heading off to walk at the mall. I don't laugh because I know the time is coming when I will be one of them. However, I have to say my food urges have taken a hit as I've aged.
I used to be all about cubic food: the most food per dollar spent. Good? It didn't have to be especially good as long as I left the restaurant "fuller than a tick at a blood bank" as my son Ryun is wont to say. When the Ponderosa on this side of town closed, I was heartbroken (though some would argue more heart healthy). Then, a Golden Corral opened on the west side, and it was like Nirvana (smells like...steak spirit). On my only visit, I was like a kid in a candy store...no, more like a glutton in an all-you-can-eat-before-barfing establishment. Lately, though, it's not that appealing. I actually was treated to a buffet while traveling with a basketball team this year, and I ate very little: mostly desserts and fruit. It was then that I noticed something amiss. I should have been chowing down, but it just didn't appeal to me. It became apparent to me that John Squibb and Kobyashi were in no danger. Yet food is still an integral part of life.
The annual Philly Wing Bowl was held today, as it always is on the Friday prior to the Super Bowl. I've reported on every "if-you-can-eat-it-all" restaurant I've read about, and even some that include both ring bologna AND macaroni and cheese together in the same dish (this in Madison, Wisconsin, at a place called, rightfully, "The Old Fashioned). The Food Channel regularly reports on such places as Pimani Brothers in Pittsburg, PA, as gastronomical meccas (NOTE: I did NOT use a capital "M" because I want no fatah pronounced against me). But Squibb must certainly take the cake, er, wing.
This year's Wing Bowl was off-limits to professional eaters (would that be a great gig, or what?) so that amateurs like Squibb, 23, could participate. In something around 20 minutes, John ate 203 wings, cheered on by scantily-clad Wingettes (?). He bested Richard "Not Rich" Razzi who could only shove 180 wings down his gullet. For his efforts, the winner took home a car (no description given, but a hearse is likely), a $7500 diamond ring and a crown made of, well, chicken bones.
Remember the Roman Empire? It was said to be brought down by its excesses...it would seem that America may be sliding down the same slippery slope, cheered on by scantily-clad women.
Oh yean, Exxon/Mobil reported making the greatest profit by an American company EVER.
Is any nearby country (not Thailand, thank you) taking boat people?