Weighty Matters Considered

Seriously, it's not that I've gained flab or extra pounds, even though I need a different-sized waist for pants now (or an elastic waistband). The scales continue to tip in my favor though my exercise plan of Little Debbies and running my mouth really hasn't resulted in the desired effects. But, as the Pharisees were wont to say, "Thank you, Lord, that I am not like these..."
Broderick Lowell is actually upset that he's losing weight...and he's losing a LOT of weight. He's down to just a shade over 300 pounds while in September he weighed in at a hefty 413. He's even filed a suit (vest not included)claiming the Benton County, Arkansas, people have been negligent, resulting in his weight dropping. See, he's a prisoner in the Benton County Jail and has been since, you guessed it, September. He claims that the jail folks are trying to starve him with an inadequate diet. The jail people claim to be giving him 3,000 calories a day (this in a country where the average is around 2,000). The fact that none of the meals is a hot meal weighs heavily (pun intended)in his suit as well. Couple that with the fact that he gets no exercise to speak of (other than that of exercising his constitutional rights), and Lowell insists that his diet is the culprit. Speaking of culprits, he's incarcerated for murder. More fortunate is a guy who really needs to remain nameless.
This man bet his friend that he could get down to 200 pounds sooner than his buddy. The loser would have to mow the winner's yard wearing a dress. The plan revolved around construction of the "man cave," a basement room all guys need in order to undertake hobbies, show off decorating skills and fulfill their every tech need. (As an aside, the man cave at my house has a "Love Shack" sign over the entrance). Anyhow, Robert Klein (oops) spent roughly six hours a day in contruction, and approximately a year later was down to 208. Unfortunately, his buddy was at 198, necessitating a LawnBoy moment, er, half hour. The secret to losing weight? Working instead of sitting on the couch and working instead of eating chips. The wives got together to make the dress out of TWO other dresses. Needless to say, you won't see that photo. Even I have standards of decency.
By any stretch(mark) of the imagination, my belt-loosening issue isn't all that serious, at least not in comparison.