In Defense of Stretchers

Poor Hillary Clinton! She's getting lambasted again, this time over a "misstatement" she made about danger in Bosnia. Mark Twain called such prevarications "stretchers," and he certainly had the cred to do so. I reckon he stretched the truth on just about everything though he did it with such aplomb that it was hard to really doubt what he was saying. And while Mrs. Clinton is getting grilled over saying she had to avoid sniper fire, this is, to me at least, not the most outrageous thing we've ever swallowed. Of course, she made the mistake of repeating the same "stretcher" a few times, and somebody wised up to it. However, I think, in no particular order, there are far worse examples of playing loose with the truth for us to consider. To wit:

"Aw, c'mon. Eat it. God knows you'll be as smart as He is. That's why He told you not to eat it!" (Satan...not to be confused with The Great Satan)

"I have never taken steroids in my life." (pick any athlete here)

" That bat with cork in it was the one I use for batting practice." (Sammy Sosa)

"I never had sex with that woman." (Ex-President Clinton)

"They are stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." (you know this one)

"I'm not fat. I'm big boned." (Eric Cartman...a bit of a stretch since nobody believes him)

"I was young and I needed the money." (Cartman's Mom, Vanessa Williams, etc. etc.)

"When I'm good, I'm good; when I'm bad, I'm even better." (Mae West...ok this WASN"T a stretcher...just checking to see if you're paying attention.)

"God will call me to heaven if you don't send in 10 million dollars by next week." (Oral Roberts...by the way, I would have LOVED to see what might have happened had people NOT sent in the money, though, sadly, they did)

"What, me worry?" (can you think of anyone who needed to worry more?)

"This isn't mine. I'm just holding it for somebody." (most of us at one time or another!)

There you have it..."stretchers" even more egregious than Hillary's claim that she was fired upon in Bosnia. If you think (and no need to wrack your brain), I'm certain you can add many more to this list. Just remember that little white lies can come back as big white albatrosses hanging around your neck...unless you happen to be Mark Twain.