Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Real Simple or Real Bored?

Forgive the grammatical goof in the title. I'm somewhat appalled that it even slipped by the grammar guru who censors my writing. I usually do not modify an adjective with another adjective even under duress. I refuse to drink Mello Yello because it's not spelled correctly...and Lite beer? no way...ketchup? I don't think so.
However, I do occasionally peer through Real Simple magazine searching for new recipes. I admit that it should be Really Simple according to the strict rules of grammar, but in a world in which a college professor told me yesterday that soon using "they" as a pronoun in place of a singular noun like "a person" will be acceptable to major style manuals...well, there's anarchy just around the corner.
Anyway, the aforementioned magazine listed 31 things a person could do if "they" wanted to be productive and kill 15 minutes at the same time. I mention this because my recent four-week hiatus known as "semester break" left me in desperate need of something to do besides read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. (That book makes The Grapes of Wrath look like a Disney/Pixar film)

Some of the ideas were actually practical:
1. Try one new food. I actually tried several new beers.
2. Schedule a day off. That one was easy...choosing which of the 20 days was tough.
3. Get together with family members and "speed clean" a drawer. I chose my computer desk and did not include any family members since it was their junk I was tossing!
4. Clean out expired food. I did...called 'em "leftovers." Nobody knew the difference
5. Put sturdy glasses in freezer so frosted mugs are available for the new "foods."
I mean, don't people do this already?
6. Pare down the number of cooking utensils. I used my paring knife for this one.
7. Compile a list of fun parties to throw. What the hell good is that when I don't have any friends to invite?

Truth be told, these were some of the more doable ones. Remember the list involves 31 activities. Some of them will NEVER get done even though I may have 15 minutes and a desire to be productive.

1. Compile a "Best of 2007" list. I've already forgotten the year existed, but that might just be age showing.
2. Buy lint rollers for every entrance and hang them up. (I am NOT making any of these up!) Right! Like I would wear anything where lint might be a problem...and need one at EVERY door?
3. Send a year's worth of flowers to someone (even yourself). Why? In a year, you'd have all these dead flowers lying about...and be expected to provide more the NEXT year. No way am I falling into that trap.
4. Make trail mix by combining all the small amounts of cereal, dried (decayed) fruit, etc. in the cupboard. And having done that, I'm going to eat it? not so much. However, it might fit nicely into the "leftovers" category mentioned earlier.
5. Tighten every loose screw in the house. Getting the screwdriver out of my ear would be the tough part of this one.
6. Memorize a short poem. Sorry, I already know all of Ogden Nash's poetry.
7. Restack nesting bowls and Tupperware. Seriously...get a grip.

As I said, there are 31 gems. It took me about fifteen minutes of reading to digest the whole thing, so maybe there should have been 32 items. It was easy...it was really simple...you can do it, too, but you'd have to be really bored.

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