Speak English and Measure Metric=Goodwill

Word from the Washington Post is that the influence of the U.S. has waned significantly in Latin America. Evidence of this comes from all the protests our president had to endure during his recent Latin American summit as well as some guy getting elected in a South American country who promises to be America's "worst nightmare." I can hardly wait for that one.
Jackson Browne noted part of the problem in Lives In the Balance years ago: we just don't seem to get that any culture different from ours does not exist SOLELY for our benefit. Anyway, I think I have the solution...accept the idea of the metric system wholeheartedly! What better way to show the rest of the world that we're really down with them? This show of unity is bound to impress the world enough that they will stop saying bad things about imperialism and Satan when referring to us.
The United States is only one of three countries that continues to use the Imperial System/Standard System (we call it U.S. Customary Units). The other two are Liberia (founded by former black Americans who returned to Africa as their homeland) and Burma...noted on my giant wall map at home as Myanmar. Truth be told, Myanmari (?) have not officially accepted the metric suystem but use it most of the time. So that leaves us, doggedly refusing to accept 0 degrees as freezing or 100km as a speed limit. Heck, even Britain went fully metric in the 1960's.
What started in France (go figure!) in the 1790s as a way to make measurement uniform has gotten around to every major nation, and yet we refuse to accept it. Track and field events are now measured in metric distances, and some labels have metric equivalences, but who reads those?
OK, OK...it's true that in those days there WERE 37 different measurements for a "foot", 83 different measures for dry capacities, 70 different ways to measure fluids and 63 different notations for dead weight (bodies, perhaps, as one?)The fact that this was French-inspired is enough to make me clamor for Imperial units. But, as an offer of goodwill and oneness with the world, I'm willing to go metric. I think the country would do well to follow my example, and we'd see kilometers of smiles from the rest of the world.