Carded at 55!

"Not on your life!" the clerk sneered haughtily.
I was stunned a bit. I was getting carded for being too young for the senior discount at Krispy Kreme! OK, I know, a Krispy Kreme delicacy is not really a part of the balanced diet unless one is on a 6,000 calorie diet. At 200 calories a pop (most of them from fat, I would guess), a dozen of those would seriously put a crimp in my colon. The amount of fat coursing through my system after those would make the Thanksgiving Day food debauchery look like a testimonial for Jenny Craig. I figure I'm getting fruit from the lemon-filled ones and the pumpkin spice ones. Let's see...there were a couple of strawberry-filled ones as well, and the chocolate on a few were good for mood elevation. Having milk with them makes it a healthy deal, I figure. It's like I feel when having cake for breakfast: eggs, milk and flour are all good for me!
However, I was not going to get my so-richly-deserved senior discount of a dollar fifteen because the counter person didn't think I was old enough. The unmitigated gall! Truth be told, I wasn't really buying them because it was part of my early birthday celebration (I've still got a week as a middle-aged guy), and my buddy Ot was footing the bill. HE is already over the magic age KK uses to designate "senior citizen" (it's the same age McRonald's uses in case you're getting up there as we are). Still, a buck is a buck, even if the crabby waitress at Butch's Das Settlement in St. Nazianz and this counter guy didn't think I could figure it out, and AARP would certainly say we were entitled. I'm not going to run out and get a red hat or join the Gray Panthers, but the point is that I've been paying for other people all this time, and now it's my turn. I don't even ask that anyone respect me for my senior status...I just want some money back when I can get it. Those expecting me to leave it to them in my will might be in for a shock as the U-Haul backs up to the hole and drops cash in on top of my casket :0
Anyhow, as I reached for my wallet and said, "Your senior age is 55, isn't it?" the clerk backed off and rang up the discount. Mess with a senior citizen who has money to spend, will you? My discretionary dollar could go lots of places. Unfortunately, Krispy Kreme has the monopoly on incredible doughnuts here in Green Bay. There's always Storheim's Ice Cream if I'm looking for high-fat. After all, I've only got so many seconds left; and Thanksgiving is coming up as well. I'll balance all of that with some cranberries...my prostate will thank me,too.