Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Glamorous, It's Not!

Every time the Academy Awards are handed out, there is the usual clamor about glamor on the red carpet (when did Joan Rivers or Kelly Osborne get to be fashionistas?), and it leads the rest of us to the realization that our lives are not very glamorous. That five o"clock shadow isn't ruggedly handsome on us: it's a sign that the weekend's here, and we're just too lazy to do much about personal grooming. Not many of us have designer gowns that either hint at or blatantly show our "girl parts" for the folks at TMZ (not to mention Sports Illustrated) to ogle or discuss at length. Life, for most of us, just isn't filled with excitement and/or glamor. Sometimes, though, people think my association with college athletics is different. it. is. not.
This past week, I went with the men's basketball team to a game in Iowa. We chartered planes, ate great food, and I got a courtside seat for a college game with more Gatorade than I could drink in a week. Glamorous, right? Nope.
First of all, the charter was a series of small 12-passenger planes that contained tiny seats too uncomfortable for me, let alone the 7'1" guy we have.
Food was good, but we ate five times over a day and a half, and frankly, I was tired of eating...but then, I'm not a college athlete anymore, and my caloric needs are different. The problem is that the food is always the same: pasta, sub sandwiches, salads and a buffet breakfast. More than two days in a row of the SAME food (like we have on most travel trips) is not fun; in addition, the timing of meals had to coincide with the schedule for practice, film study and pre-game discussions, so we were eating at incrdibly off-schedule times.
Then, there is the boredom factor: hours of time devoted to the athletes' rest, recuperation, coaches' meetings, and time spent watching TV in the hotel. Fortunately, a couple of the guys had essays for me to work with so I was not completely zoned, but enough so that I felt disoriented...and terminally slow elevators to the 8th floor occupied by screaming 10-year-olds...and malfunctioning door keys? don't even ask.
Sleep in a strange bed that's too soft or too hard? Room temperature too hot or too cold? Roommate that snores? yep. all of those.
Returning on the red-eye charter at midnight in time to drive 30 minutes home and try to sleep. Definitely not glamorous.
And we lost the game.
Long, long trip.
Typical of the "glamor" of college athletics.

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