Religious Upheaval NOT Related to Islam!

Karen King will probably be hearing from the religious right any day now. King, the Hollis professor of Divinity who revealed to the world this week a segment of papyrus on which Jesus refers specifically to "my wife," is raising hackles throughout civilization. 

The segment of what she calls "The Gospel of Jesus' Wife" has been around for awhile, but its owner could not translate it. It was only after repeatedly trying to interest someone in it that the owner finally convinced King to verify its authenticity. Of course, the possibility of it being fraudulent like so many faces of holy people appearing in pancakes or waffles was a real one, and King was skeptical. She sought out Ariel Shisha-Halevy, a coptic writing expert from Hebrew University, who was able to at least confirm the translation and verify that the papyrus on which it was written was singularly ancient. Found in Egypt somewhere, I think, the segment was preserved by the incredibly dry air in that vicinity. At 4 cm by 8 cm, the segment is certainly but a small part of an original document and offers no real proof that Jesus was married. After all, this gospel, like many of the others, was written long after Jesus' death...some say as much as 150 years later.

Pundits worldwide are taking the discovery in stride and even making conjectures about what came after "Jesus said, my wife..." which is where the message conveniently ends.

Thinking that Christians probably have more of a sense of humor and feeling that Jesus would,too, here are some of the possible endings:

1. "And Jesus said, 'my wife always gets upset if I leave the lid up.'"

2. "And Jesus said, ' My wife...if I could ever find one.'"  Those two are from Jon Stewart, not me.

Steven Colbert also had some repartee on the subject. He was upset to find that Jesus had been married because

1. Jesus was his last single friend!

2. No more partying. Jesus was always the life of the party, what with changing water into wine and all.

3. Jesus was a hit with the ladies as well...he even hung around with prostitutes.

Colbert also opined that it was about time Jesus was identified with a woman since everyone was beginning to talk about him hanging around with 12 guys all the time.

All in all, a delightful respite from the political rhetoric for the week.