Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Friday, August 03, 2012

Seven is Not Always a Lucky Number

This is the prelude to my seventh knee operation. I am pretending not to be nervous.
It's not that I am Arnold "Pump You Up" large here. It's just that it has become customary to hook patients up to a vacuum-like hose and blow warm air over them prior to surgery. Since my last trip under the knife had been quite a while ago, this was a startling development. I felt somewhat like I was being encased in a fat sumo-type suit though the nurser explained that such a thing was customary. Surreptitiously, I tuned the settings down to zero because I was warm enough without all the excess gadgetry.
To be honest, I always like this part of operations: a light drug dose to relax you, friendly doctors and anesthetists who pretend it will be their greatest pleasure to work you over that day. In my case, world-renowned surgeon Dr. Padraic Obma ( former associate of Dr. James Andrews who specializes in professional athletes) was in line to do the chopping. He had been positively giddy about performing the procedure since he'd never seen a knee with as many bone chunks floating around as mine had. He was smiling broadly, claimed to have gotten a good 8 hours of sleep, and promised two things: he'd so an excellent job, and he would save as many of the record-breaking number of chunks for me as he could. Heartened by that thought, it was off to the operating room where my request for punk music was tacitly agreed up but probably not played in actuality. Going to sleep is my favorite part...I could do that every day: dreamless, peaceful sleep.
Then comes the groggy awakening and the very first "wrong" movement of that knee. As far as I know, no secrets were divulged in questioning me under the effects of drugs, something I think everyone fears at that point.
There was a small glitch, however; it appears that the EKG taken in the operating room showed something called an atrial irregular heartbeat. That is a condition that must be followed up since the opportunity for strokes is present.
But all that for another day. Recovery is underway, and with the Olympics app, I can watch Olympic coverage all day, every day, including varied things such as field hockey and team handball.
Timing is everything!


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