Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Fun? I Don't Call THAT Fun

FUN (for some)


"It's what they do for FUN," notes Professor Abronsius to his young and not-so-able assistant Alfred in one of my all-time favorite movies: Fearless Vampire Killers as he explains the tradition of keeping living victims alive by taking only small drinks of blood thereby prolonging the "fun" and ensuring the continuation of a vampire colony. (For the uninitiated, this dark comedy was Sharon Tate's last film before the Charlie Manson thing and co-starred a much younger Roman Polanski as Alfred). Anyway, my point is that the idea of "fun" is entirely subjective, and I have a gripe to take to Mr. T about what "fun size" means.
As I sat at my desk the other day, I felt that a pick-me-up was in order. Not having a 25-hour energy drink or any of the others whose claims I find dubious, I thought, "Hmmm...a Snickers would be good about now, especially since I am not going anywhere for a while. Though I do not generally keep such snacks handy, I had recently rewarded outstanding performance in one of my classes by issuing candy bars. Sadly, though, these could hardly be called "bars."
In less than two manly bites, I had finished but was unsatisfied...then, I saw the wrapper that advertised that what I had just consumed had come in a "fun size." I ripped open two more equally fun "bars," ate them and realized that such small things are definitely NOT FUN even when three are eaten consecutively. None of them stayed in my hand long enough to melt, and there was very little enjoyment to be had besides the possibility of eating 10 more just to see if it was, indeed, fun.
"False advertising," I cried, but there was no one to hear except the Godzilla figure that stands atop my filing cabinet and roars when the lights go out.
No fun.
If it weren't for fear of Mr. T, I might actually raise a fuss about this.
Maybe the Three Musketeers would be more fun...even in that diminutive size.
Trick-or-treaters must hate the candy companies.
I'll get apples this year.


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