You Call THAT ccccCold?

Having more or less recuperated from a meltdown of the cranial sort after the pressure cooker that was last semester, I feel ready to tackle the new year. Unfortunately, it's been so cold lately that my keyboard has become petulant, demanding (much like Hal) that I do something about the temperature in the house. It's usually a balmy 60 degrees or so inside, but the outside chill has lessened the ambience somewhat. How cold is it?
Yesterday, I saw two dogs outside trying to jump start a rabbit...ba dum bump. And yet another canine was frozen to the fire hydrant across then street! And yet, the neighborhood kids still trudged to school walking ten feet to the door after exiting their mother-driven minivans...no respite for them after the Christmas break.
The cold has extended to Florida and just about everywhere around the globe. Tea party people are hailing this as proof that there is no such thing as global warming; I'm almost ready to agree. However, I'm NOT almost ready to move to Oymyagon, a small town in Russia, reputedly the coldest spot on earth. How cold is it?
This small burg, a three-day drive from Yakutsk (familiar to "Risk" players) has an average winter temperature of minus 45 degrees...celsius! The coldest recorded temp was minus 71 degrees celsius. Think our kids have it tough in winter? The school in Oymygon doesn't close until the temp gets to minus 52 degrees celsius. Want more? The school got its first indoor toilet in 2008! I don't even want to imagine what that must have been like (it puts the stories of sticking a tongue on a pole to shame!)
People there burn coal and wood and have no phones...even cellular service won't work because of the cold. I doubt parents have to argue with teens over excessive cell phone bills, and it definitely has to cut down on the latest teen craze of sexting...but then, would YOU even want to take your clothes off in those temperatures?
The domestic entrants don't even come close, but there has been recording s of a chilly relationship between folks in International Fall, Minnesota, and those in Fraser, Colorado, both of whom tried to claim the coldest spot in the U.S. (as if anyone else wanted the title!) with an average winter temp somewhere between zero and two degrees celsius...posers! Actually, the dispute boiled over into the courtroom, and I.Falls was awarded the title. My vote goes, however, to Stanley, Idaho, the place in this country that has recorded the greatest number of "coldest spot in the U.S." days between 1995 and 2005.
So if you are feeling winter's icy claws around your neck, get outside for a brisk walk as we did today, whistle while shoveling that five-foot drift in the driveway, and beglad you're not in Northeastern Russia!