"It'sComing Right For Us!"

"That's Right, Mr. Buffalo, Pay No Attention To Us Pretending To Set Up A Picnic Table Over Here"

In case you're wondering how laws get passed and didn't get the opportunity to watch the cartoon segment years ago about bill in Congress, here's a quick lesson that is somewhat reminiscent of the now-infamous "Bridge to nowhere" made famous by the last presidential election. President Obama signed into law this week a bill that would severely restrict credit card companies' current ability to gouge customers who fail to pay off their balances and charge usurious interest, thus keeping the unwitting poorer-than-he-or-she-used-to-be person in virtual servitude for life: companies will be required to spell out the fine print regarding interest rates: they will have to give a 45-day notice prior to any interest rate hike, and they would be required to show in writing just how long it would take to repay that money with interest; the bill also might restrict the companies' ability to give out cards to those under 18 (a.k.a. college freshmen); and, in a bit of irony, would punish those of us who NEVER carry a balance from month to month by taking away the perks we've been getting for using the card such as free gas cards or actual money or airplane tickets for every $5,000 spent. As I say, if one never carries a balance, it's free money! (though some would argue that we might spend more than we would otherwise, making it somewhat more costly than cash...an argument for another day.
So far, so good. I'm down with giving up my perk so that others can be forced into being more fiscally responsible. I'm willing to sacrifice. But here's the deal that illustrates most clearly how we get laws that leave us going, "huh? What the hell?"
Attached to this law tightening restrictions on credit card companies is a law which ALLOWS people to carry loaded firearms in national parks and refuges! What has one to do with the other? NOTHING! It was simply a way to get needed support for the passage of legislation to simplify the credit industry: "you add this addendum, and I'll vote 'yes'."
This is not an argument about our right to carry loaded weapons around. It's about how laws get passed..."Schoolhouse Rock 2009"
Of course, there are two sides to the gun argument as well. The NRA states that in states where concealed weapon carry is legal there has NOT been an increase in gun violence. (No word on how many feet have gotten injured by those practicing their quick draw)The group also notes that carrying a loaded weapon in a national park is a good idea because one might need to protect himself or herself from "criminals or dangerous animals." Dangerous animals?
Most of them in preserves like national parks are totally unconcerned with humans unless there is food involved. Poaching animals is no more difficult in a national park than poaching an egg at home, especially when each ranger in this country has responsibility for more than 1.5 million acres, on average. No wonder Yogi and Boo Boo can get to the picnic baskets so easily!
According to the National Park Service, poaching has resulted in the decline of 29 species of flora and fauna in our parks. This is easily explained by the fact that a dried gall bladder from a black bear is worth $1,000 in Asia PER OUNCE, and that wild ginseng (OK, you don't need a weapon for this one) is worth $400 a pound.
While it is not widely thought that criminals do a lot of camping, the survival types find the wilderness a great place in which to get lost...so my having a .44 magnum might deter a deranged survivalist from killing my entire family. Of course, to do that, he or she would have to look for us poolside at the nearest Ramada since camping has too many icky things like rocks under my sleeping bag and a decided lack of warm croissants for breakfast, not to mention those logs that get in my way as I stumble out of the tent looking to relieve myself at two in the morning (you'd THINK there would be nightlights or something)
All of which reminds me of the

South Park

episode where Uncle Jimbo and Ned took the boys on their first hunting trip (episode #103 URL below :). When questioned about shooting harmless, grazing animals, Jimbo indicated that it was OK if the animal was charging...necessitating a cry of "It's coming right for us" just prior to blasting a black bear or rabbit of tame-as-in-a-zoo deer. But that's not the real point.
The real point is that now you know how the system works.
Don't look for me in a national park anytime soon. I'll be poolside.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/149674