More Ballpark Eats

TAKE ME OUT TO THE...PEPTO BISMOL

Ballpark food is the only way my sweetie judges the allure of a sporting contest. She likes watching baseball, as long as nachos or hot dogs are somehow involved. She even managed to eat more than usual last summer at a local baseball promotion of "all-you-can-eat-and-drink-in-the-rightfield-seats." Our trip was sponsored by my summer employers, the Green Bay Packers, so everything was free. My kind of food. Anyway, she was still discerning enough to rip Yankee Stadium for not having nachos while noting that world famous Nathan's hot dogs were not nearly as good as Salmon's natural casing dogs from right here in Wisconsin. As a sidenote, she was once again rewarded this week by the Packers with a winning lottery number which would allow her to buy four seats this season for $60 apiece. I got nothing...again. :( However, back to the food thing.
This is especially dedicated to my buddy Jeff who has made summer touring of minor league ballparks in the Midwest a habit. He and his dad routinely traverse all over the Midwest, taking in an entire league's worth of games during a summer roadtrip. Generally, he comes back with a hat, a program and other memorabilia. Now, he (and you) can come back with something more: heartburn. And it's closer than you might imagine.
The Western Michigan Whitecaps playing in Grand Rapids at Fifth Third Ballpark (?)have struck first in this summer's food extravaganza promotion. It seems that every summer some city tries to outdo all others in a gargantuan food tantalizer. Remember the Krispy Kreme burger of a few years ago? Well, here's this year's first salvo:
This burger, weighing in at a hefty 4 pounds and 4800 calories, contains the following:
5 beef burgers
5 slices of cheese
a cup of chili
low-calorie salsa
corn chips
an 8-in sesame seed bun

All of this for $20--the price of three admissions (a guess). I imagine one would have to have a seat somewhere alone so that the view of other paying customers was not obstructed and wear old clothes because there's NO WAY all that chili is going to stay inside the bun! It might take the entire game to prepare and eat the thing as well. No telling how many cups of beer would be required.
Are you busy this summer, Jeff? Let's go to Grand Rapids...unless you've been there already.