Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Why the Chinese Are Laughing Their @**$* Off

As if the problems of global warming, resource depletion, habitat destruction and overpopulation aren't enough (yes, I'm reading textbooks again), we've managed to irritate the Chinese with American culture...again. It's probably not as bad as the Starbucks in the Forbidden City, but it was a serious affront. However, as luck would have it, they get the last laugh.
It all started 17 years ago, I presume, when Guns 'N' Roses put out the last album. Not a Chinese person noticed, in all probability. However, now that Axl Rose and his mates have finally put out another album, the titled so rankled the Chinese government that they filed something of a protest over it. Now, of course, every dissident in the country is looking for a bootleg copy of "Chinese Democracy" if only to chortle at the ironic absurdity of the title. So why is anyone in that country's government laughing?
The Chinese have accupuncture, but we have Dr. Pepper, and therein lies the humor. The Dr. Pepper company offered everyone in America a free soda on the condition that G'N'R put out an album in 2008. The album was released last week, and the madcap turn of events began.
People desperate to cash in on the promotion were supposed to be able to go to Dr. Pepper's web site and download a coupon for a free soda. Apparently, there were so many fans of free anything (much like the Taco Bell giveaway during baseball season), that they crashed the site...which, by the eay was only available for 24 hours (a clever "catch" if I do say so). OK, a rib tickler so far, BUT IT GETS BETTER!
Fans, both gruntled and disgruntled have been inundating the blogosphere with complaints that it's THE BAND'S FAULT that they didn't get their free serving of phosphoric acid, high-fructose corn syrup, caffeine and artificial flavoring. Blaming the band for this only added to the hilarity, BUT THERE'S MORE!

Axl Rose is now threatening Dr. Pepper with a lawsuit because the fans are angry with HIM! Could this get any more stupid? Yes, and it will. Stay tuned. Better yet, go to the web site and get your free coupon and enjoy! Oh wait, I just went there, and there is NO promotion listed featuring "Chinese Democracy." I'm going back to the site and DEMAND my soda!
I can hear the Chinese chuckling from my front porch.

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