Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Senior Coke, Extra Ice: Another Half-Full Story

I'm not a huge McRonald's fan. "Back in the day" when this company packaged everything in styrofoam (50,000 years to biodegrade) and chooped down rain forests to provide grazing land for my quarter pounder, I was adamant about not stopping there under any circumstance. Even though Consumer Reports indicated that the best fries anywhere (an oxymoron form a health perspective?) were to be found under the arches, I refused. Now that I have reached a certain age, I must relent, at least a little.
Fast food places, movie theaters and my high school commons area are serious purveyors of soda pop. Heck, we should have our students walk around with "COKE" plastered on their backpacks. Morning announcements might as well begin with "Have an icy cold Coca Cola with those Pringles." I'll admit, I'm not much for soft drinks, but when I am, McRonald's gives me all I want for $.39 as a benefit for being a senior citizen. I'm not proud. Why pay over a dollar when I don't have to? Save that money for more ace bandages or Geritol! I will admit to sitting there in the company of other "seniors" like myself after a tough pickleball match and drinking six cups of lemonade, no ice (it's not REALLY soda, after all ;) I've earned the benefit as a working person for a really long time. Any reduction in price is a positive for me! One senior I know asks for extra ice in her senior Coke...actually a violation of the senior code since you need to get more for your money when you're on a fixed income. Though, of course, there is the constant bathroom thing, too.
Our grocery store gives a discount to seniors on Tuesday. While I'd never shopped on Tuesday before, that $3.85 I saved this week bought one whole gallon of gas and a Slim Jim! Hot diggety!
I just booked my first hotel room as a senior citizen--proof of age and/or a list of medical infirmities, prescription drugs and fifteen candid pictures of grandchildren required upon check in. What a deal! Life just keeps getting better. I probably will get a room on the first floor so I don't have to drag a walker upstairs or have other patrons listen to me wheeze as I climb the stairs. I refuse the elevator...I'm not that old, after all.
AARP constantly sends me the potential of great deals on almost anything for a very low (it really is) price for membership. Unfortunately, they are unaware of my refusal to join things. I wouldn't belong to any group who would have me. Said originally by some famous person not named Darrell.
The benefits of age continue to pile up. Had I known it would be this great, I would have gotten older sooner.

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