Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Levi, Marge, Leela or Lois? You Pick

LEELA

Civilization is probably crumbling around us as I write this...remember the Romans? All that easy living and debauchery did them in as the Mongols came from the steppes and stepped all over them. While there probably won't be any screaming French people from Quebec (featured in many South Park episodes)) holding Niagra Falls for ransom or hordes of drug lords pushing through the Arizona desert to take over Sun City retirement villages any time soon, we ARE living in something of a moral quagmire. To wit:

Jon and Kate are split...Kate will bravely carry on exploiting her kids while Jon canoodles with various women whom he loves "more than I ever loved Kate."

ESPN the magazine's latest issue has about 20 pages of professional athletes wearing mostly nothing but covering up the naughty bits in a "celebration of the athletic form." yikes.

Levi Johnston has decided to pose nude for Playgirl magazine soon...and I have to aadmit that I didn't know this was a magazine with a predominantly gay audience until I looked it up, so to speak. In fact, gawker.com even has an animated "how far will Levi's Johnston go" visual, featuring day by day guesses until the "shocking" photos come out. Uh, yeah, I'll be sure to check that out every day. (and it actually WAS spelled "Levi's Johnston;" that was not a typo) I can just imagine his child Trip's playmates (using the word in a benign sense) in grade school tossing THAT issue out during recess! This will just get more and more sordid. I'm actually somewhat sorry I brought it up...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

The Playboy empire has recently undergone a major transformation, starting when Hugh dumped his girlfriend who was only fifty years younger than he or so. His daughter runs the magazine now, and guess who has been tapped to be the cover girl for the November issue? You'll never guess, so I'll tell you: Marge Simpson. Comments from Playboy indicate that there will only be "implied nudity" in the three-page spread (so to speak) inside. Uh, last time I checked, Marge was animated. Is this an opportunity to cut costs? Will is be the normal Marge or the "surgically enhanced" Marge from the "Large Marge" episode in season 14? Will anybody buy this mess?
Playboy editors indicate that this is an attempt to lure readers in their 20's to a magazine whose readership averages 35 years of age. 35? Are you kidding? Really?
If that is the case, isn't Lois from "Family Guy" a better choice? or Leela from "Futurama"? Perhaps they are slated for later issues.

No matter what, I think we're teetering on the precipice of the apocalypse...especially when 35-year old guys have nothing better to read than Playboy.

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