Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It's Not Just The Vuvuzelas

It's actually been a great time watching the FIFA World Cup this time around...mostly because I get to needle the coach whose office is next to mine. He is a former college soccer player who now coaches volleyball and claims to be a "citizen of the world" and an "avowed socialist." Truth be told, he is one of the most knowledgeable people I know on many fronts, and is willing to accept my goofy ideas without passing judgement. His undying devotion to a game most Americans find boring gives me all sorts of opportunities to get under his skin a little.
The proximity of our offices is such that every time he even comments about something during a match (always on in his office), I can hear it. I remarked today that a 1-0 match really should have been 10-9 if he wanted me to watch...and he growled at me. Likewise, he gets frustrated when reading all the complaints about the noise-making horns at this year's Cup. "People should just tune in to WWE and quit complaining," he said to me today. Wait until he finds out about Argentina.
It seems that almost every team travels with "all the comforts of home," and I suppose it's right that they should. After all, they will be spending (hopefully) more than a few weeks far away from home where the water/food might be suspect, and feeling at home is more than just taking your favorite pillow to a new hotel with you.
For example, while all teams travel with their familiar food choices, the Italians arrived with their own chefs; the Brazilians demanded that the water in the swimming pool be exactly ninety degrees; the Slovakians demanded electronic dartboards and ping pong tables(what...no Dave & Busters in Praetoria?); the U.S. contingent arrived with plenty of dried fruit, Gatorade, video games and DVDs; the Mexican team arrived with its own bean dishes...and a Catholic priest. No fair!
But the Argentinians have pushed the "comfort" envelope just a bit too far. here is a list of what the team demanded of its South African hosts upon arrival:
1. A complete renovation of Coach Diego Maradonna's room which involved installing expensive toilet and bidet facilities.
2. All other rooms should be painted white.
3. Ten hot dishes to be served every day with at least fourteen different varieties of salads.
4. Three pasta sauces at every meal as well as three desserts, and a guarantee that South African barbecue be served at least once every three days.
5.Ice cream should be available at all times.
6. At least six PlayStation game consoles.

All of this makes the furor over those plastic horns seem silly.
And it is. I've got to agree with Coach Goodson on this one.

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